MURMURATION
Taking inspiration from the cohesive movement of a flock of starlings, a murmuration. This work was about filling up space with bodies and exploring connections, made and missed.
That being admitted, my performers had all the dances down before the show as we’d been in rehearsals twice a week from January, as I wanted them to have time to learn it all but also fully absorb and know the show without thinking. On the week of the show, I had two performers drop out and another dropped from two piece to just to just one, then on Tuesday the assault with Susie + I happened, which was deeply traumatic to have experienced and then to have my show to focus on.
I know that no one would have had an issue if I did not perform after this and I really did think about it for a moment but the amount of work that had gone into the pieces, by myself in sewing all the costumes, all three original tracks by my partner, the projections by Ophélie and lighting by Amelia, as well as all my performers who were still involved and who had given so much of their time to it, it felt wrong to bail at that stage.
What I learnt from this very particular experience was how to really let go of the project, everything that happened was so far out of my control, what I consciously did instead was try to find how best to flow along with it all as it went ahead, trying to hold the space as best I could for the rest of my performers and support them where they needed it most. The show itself was not what I was hoping for but the experience however horrible, was a deep learning on how I am able to look after myself and my team when in crisis, I feel very capable after that experience.
Original three tracks score by Callum Brown
In total I made eight costumes, six of which were morphing costumes, starting tied up which gave the performers a small, capped sleeve cape like silhouette which then go revealed midway through the second act – timed with an industrial fan which blew directly onto the audience. I wanted to bring in the element of air and to jolt the audience out of passive viewing, therefore bringing in my practice of immersive experience to a shared show.
This was my first collaboration with my partner and musician, Callum Brown. We started his exploration by sharing a playlist of what I hoped would be the energies and vague plot line for each act. He would work on a bit and come back to me with multiple samples. Our way of working together was really natural and clear in our communications, the speed of his turnaround for conception and creation of the sound really blew me away, this was the start of a continual working relationship.
I lost my way mid-way through this piece, the choreography became too complex in comparison to what the intention of this was meant to be; a vast number of moving bodies in a space, doing similar movements not necessarily the choreography. If I were able to redo this piece, I would write the initial movement goal on a big piece of paper and stick it to the rehearsal room’s mirror to remind myself of what it was I was hoping to create. I do not entirely know how it got so sidetracked, but it may have been because I was overcompensating with imposter syndrome whilst leading a room full of half dancers half non dancers, I really should have trusted my gut.
Also, I hadn’t accounted for stage fright, I personally rarely ever get it or even nerves when it comes to performing so I hadn’t added that into the equation also in that people forget things on stage in a panic, so again I feel that if I had stuck with simplified movements but use of the whole space, then it would have been a very different and potentially slicker show.
